~*Smashley*~ (causticquality) wrote,

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value everything that you once took for granted.

Is it wrong to cry just because you know people care about you? Is it wrong to feel greatful to have friends that actally give a shit that you are around? Well i feel that now. Christina and i have been having one long ass meaningful conversations, and i think it's easy to say that friendship is the greatest thing that a person can be blessed with. I have been blessed with some terrific friends. Cori, Tina, Mattie, and Howard have been there for me through everything. I just want to tell tina that the night i went strolling down the street crying was not her fault at all. That night was a revolution for me. I realized so much. Not only that i didn't need that worthless piece of shit in my life, but that i do have some awesome freinds. I'm sorry if i don't always act like i care. I'd die if i lost any of you. i'M SORRY that you felt like it was your fault. That night was absolutely a blast until he came over. hehe. Cori, i love you, and there's no way to describe how much you mean to me. I've never had someone touch my life the way that you have. You are a fucking blessing. I'd be dead if it weren't for you. (Shampoo doesn't = suicide) Mattie, I'm sorry i haven't been here for you like i should. I'll make it up to you. Howard, it's been a rough last couple of weeks, and i know you can't read this, but still, i'm here for you no matter what. I won't let the negitivity come between you and i. I gained more than just a favorite band, i gained a friend that understood me. I'm sorry about the way i treated you the first time you came and hung out, but i'll make it up saturday. You can't fucking replace freinds. You can try to forget them, but that doesn't work. Nakita, i wish you where still in my life, and if i had a way to get in contact with you. I hope i see you somewhere, and we can just sit down and talk. I can forgive and look past all the bullshit. We can work through our problems, and rebuild a friendship that we once had. I know it's possible. Lucas, I fucking loved you. You were the only guy who acted more girly than me. I miss doing your hair and makeup. just kiddin. I miss having you around, and talking you. You where really a great friend, and i hope you find it in your heart to call me back. It's been too long, and i want to be part of your life again. I really want to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time and chance of befriending me. You all mean so much to me, and i don't want to loose another person due to petty bullshit. love ya'll
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